Life Advice: Love Yourself

I’m starting a new series called Life Advice, I wanted to start with the topic “Love Yourself.” One of my readers has recently turned 21 years old and requested an article on advice that I would give to someone her age. As being in my late 30s myself, I often think about the advice that I would give to my younger self.

A few years back, I wrote an article “What I Learned in my 20s,” so I thought I would send her that article. However, I knew that I could do better. Life in your 20s is better than your teen years, but there is still so much to learn. You’re still trying to figure out who you are and what you want to so with your life.

So instead of just me giving advice, I gathered a bunch of amazing females from all walks of life and are currently at different stages in life to give their advice on being in your early 20s. They all offered up so much advice, that I will be creating multiple posts.

Rebecca (38) – Fashion Blogger, Product Manager

The advice that I would give is to love yourself. I spent most of life in my 20s being insecure and worrying about what others think, especially men. I always thought if I met the perfect guy then I would feel loved. That guy would “save” me from the struggles of life and give me a better one. That type of thinking caused me to become a “chameleon girlfriend,” which is anything that a guy would want me to be, instead of myself.

That lead to several bad relationships and lower self-esteem. I would think to myself “Why can’t I find my one true love. Is something wrong with me?” And then I realized, it was me that was the problem. I wasn’t being true to myself. It took several years and a lot of hard work for me to fall back in love with myself, but I did.

Once you are able to love yourself, it’s so much easier to build strong and healthy relationships with others. And in the end, I did find the true love that I will be with my entire life; me.

Jennifer (42) – Sales Rep, Yoga Instructor

In addition to all the amazing advice, I’ve received throughout my life that helped me become the woman I am today. I would urge my young self or any young woman to do life their way. Be kind, loving, and supportive to yourself and others. And, don’t give two F#A$s what anyone else thinks. At the end of the day, lead the life you want to have, not by the expectations of others. We have the choice of how we want our lives to be. We just have to choose.

Brittany (32) – Quality Assurance Engineer

I grew up in an environment full of tribulation. As a result, it was challenging for me to love myself when others seemingly hated me. In high school, I started to snap out of that a little, but it was difficult for me to love the fact that I was this super nerdy, straight-A, choir girl. I wanted to do everything “right” while others were off partying, ditching school, and being more social than I ever could have been at that point in my life. 

When I was 21, it was a coming-of-age moment for me. It was as if a switch flipped, I no longer felt like I had to hide who I was. I decided to embrace the weird girl that danced around in her chonies using a spoon as a microphone. The girl that kept up to date with news about space and that analyzed every new law. I genuinely wanted to learn EVERYTHING about people, and I rolled with it.

Now, let’s be clear, I might have embraced her, but others, not so much. I found it hard not to question myself and doubt my actions, which made me withdraw a bit. And whether I should “go with the crowd” instead. I did that for years before I finally told myself (again) “IDGAF, I’m gonna be myself and see what happens.”

And that’s where future me comes in. Throughout our lives, we’re constantly changing into different versions of ourselves. While it feels scary, unstable, and honestly, a bit unsettling, it’s the most beautiful thing. We get to have an array of experiences that change our attitudes, our demeanor, our outlooks on life – everything.

It’s an incredible thing to look back and realize how each thing (small or large) affects our being. Even more so, it’s rewarding to look back and be able to say “I was completely and utterly myself. I trusted my instincts and I love every bit of the weird, happy, nerdy person that I am. Love and trust every version of yourself.

Closing Statements

In the end, be true to yourself. Everyone has a hard time getting to know who they are, but keep looking. You’ll find your way. I want to say thank you to Brittany and Jennifer for sharing their beautiful advice. I would also like to give a very special thank you and happy birthday to Ekeila for inspiring this article and series.

If you like this post, stay on the lookout for more life advice.

Photos by Anthea Marette Photography

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